It's been three years since I was treated for cancer, but I still remember the little kindness people paid me with a keen jolt of emotion. I often get asked what is the best thing to do for a friend who is going through treatment. Here are some ideas:
Get them a magazine subscription
This ended up being a very fortuitous gift – because a friend gave me a subscription to Real Simple.
Get them a gift certificate
I received many gift cards to Fairway, the wonderful supermarket that I used to live a block away from (it is, by the way, the most intense shopping experience you could ever have – lots of old ladies jamming you in the legs with their carts -but it's a real slice of New York). A friend gave me a gift certificate for a massage, which I really needed (I had to wait until I was done with chemo to use it – you literally are toxic when you are in treatment)
Hire someone to clean their house
The caretaker often has to shoulder the burden of keeping the house in order (Oliver was my hero on so many levels that year). It's wonderful to think of them, too.
Buy them a hat or headscarf
I had to purchase so much headwear, I was desperate for anything to cover my chicken head.
Bring them dinner
Or if they live in a city, have their favorite take out sent to their house. Just check to see if there is anything they are currently averse to.
Send them a card
Every day my mailbox was exploding with doctor's bills and vague threats from my insurance company. It was incredibly stressful and disheartening. So whenever there was a personal card hiding in the midst of all that negative energy, I was so very grateful.
Most of all, please don't disappear.
I lost three close male friends that year. When I told them I was sick, I simply never heard from them again. It still stings. Cancer might make you uncomfortable, but don't add to a friend's misery.
Get them a magazine subscription
This ended up being a very fortuitous gift – because a friend gave me a subscription to Real Simple.
Get them a gift certificate
I received many gift cards to Fairway, the wonderful supermarket that I used to live a block away from (it is, by the way, the most intense shopping experience you could ever have – lots of old ladies jamming you in the legs with their carts -but it's a real slice of New York). A friend gave me a gift certificate for a massage, which I really needed (I had to wait until I was done with chemo to use it – you literally are toxic when you are in treatment)
Hire someone to clean their house
The caretaker often has to shoulder the burden of keeping the house in order (Oliver was my hero on so many levels that year). It's wonderful to think of them, too.
Buy them a hat or headscarf
I had to purchase so much headwear, I was desperate for anything to cover my chicken head.
Bring them dinner
Or if they live in a city, have their favorite take out sent to their house. Just check to see if there is anything they are currently averse to.
Send them a card
Every day my mailbox was exploding with doctor's bills and vague threats from my insurance company. It was incredibly stressful and disheartening. So whenever there was a personal card hiding in the midst of all that negative energy, I was so very grateful.
Most of all, please don't disappear.
I lost three close male friends that year. When I told them I was sick, I simply never heard from them again. It still stings. Cancer might make you uncomfortable, but don't add to a friend's misery.
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